poetry SUBMISSIONS
THE CONVICTION IN COURAGE: FINDING THE BALANCE BETWEEN FEAR AND RISK
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: “Great work mashaAllah! You did a great job connecting the theme of conviction with responsibility. There were a few places where better words could have been chosen, but otherwise wonderful job!”
JUDGE 2: “Brilliantly written, some of your stanzas pack a mean punch and really resonate with the reader. "To connect with their soul, but also to connect with my grave / Because our faith coincides with what we do with the pain and there is always room for change" - so incredibly thoughtful and thought provoking. This is SO well articulated and brilliantly captured. Mash'allah!”
JUDGE 3: “This was a well-thought out and well-executed submission! I like how you used the analogy of feeling like a crab and the use of figurative language to further your ideas. One thing I would recommend is to build more on the idea of filling your father's shoes one day, given that it is the title and overall subject of the poem. Overall, great job at using your voice and I hope you keep writing!”
TRUSTING THE PROCESS: CONTENTMENT THROUGH ADVERSITY
Judges Feedback:
JUDGE 1: “Loved the visual presentation of the poem and the title fit perfectly! You conveyed internal struggle and the reader was left with bated breath awaiting the author's ultimate decision. However the resolution and contentment portion was lacking which detracted from fulfilling the theme. Overall great job!!”
JUDGE 2: “Beautifully written with exceptional and original concept.”
JUDGE 3: “This poem does not only effectively utilize multiple literary devices to express the essential theme, but is also is organized in a way that emphasizes the journey that is discussed in Section 2. Furthermore, the construction of parallels between the character’s development and the transition from night to morning – though subtle – greatly enhances the reader’s experience. The use of symbolism to liken the sky to a canvas serves as a potent representation that lingers in the reader’s imagination. Overall, this poem was very successful at reimagining a phenomenon that is very common among the Muslim youth.”
The Honor of Humility: Finding Dignity in Challenging Pride
Judges Feedback:
JUDGE 1: “Your poem was heartfelt and portrayed the correct literary components that were essential. Your stanzas were clear and concise, as was your use and explanation of literary elements. I found your use of inference quite imaginative and refreshing, as you were able to compare the mercy of Allah to, "a matrix that is encoded in all things."
JUDGE 2: “Your individuality was shown within the story you told and with your unique format of your stanzas. I value your words for their sincerity and literary merit. The only advice I have is to avoid starting your sentences with the word "and" as it is a coordinating conjunction.”
JUDGE 3: “The sweetness and genuine affection and sincerity of this poem had me feeling butterflies. Where to even begin, your descriptions of grandmother and her optimism and her complete faith and belief in the mercy of God is SubhanAllah such an important piece of this poem. In light of her lemon tree dying, her brother dying, a possible death diagnosis for your father she has remained so strong and steadfast in trusting the mercy of God.”
JUDGE 4: “There are so many lighthearted lines that you describe that make the reader feel like they are standing there with the narrator. I think the line that I felt was the “Alhamdulillah,” I said without conviction, repeating it senselessly. You’ve described how we lose the meaning in the words sometimes and it just becomes routine that we say it to say it.”
JUDGE 5: “The rich detail you give really creates this deeply insightful piece on compassion and empathy and seeing the wisdom behind God’s mercy. This poem is truly a sincere reflection of the journey of accepting mercy in all of the ups and downs in life and how it all starts with a simple Alhumdullilah. Also thank you for including the definition of Alhumdullilah because even though it can be inferred what it is, you’ve allowed your poem to be more accessible for others who do not have the knowledge. I seriously could go into so much more detail and breakdown each of my favorite lines but overall you’ve written an engaging and beautiful piece of poetry MashaAllah and I hope you continue writing!! :)”
The Valor of Mercy: Summoning The Strength of Compassion
Judges Feedback:
JUDGE 1: “Your use of the metaphor of water throughout the poem was done really well! I enjoyed your word choice also, you chose words that are hard on the tongue so the reader has to pay attention to every syllable and there are sorts of tongue twisters in there too! I can tell a lot of thought went into it. You also managed to have a good level of abstractness to your poem that makes the reader really read and wonder what the writer is saying. Well done!”
JUDGE 2: “MashaAllah honestly a wonderful and captivating piece of work!!! First off, thank you for including the numbers of the lines of the side so helpful!!! Such beautiful and detailed word choice really painted a visceral picture in the reader's mind!! My favorite lines were from stanza 3 and 4 so powerful and I definitely read it over just to make sure I got the true impact of the lines. You have such a distinct style of writing so incredibly unique and refreshing!! I hope you continue to write such high quality poetry! Keep up the terrific work!” -Sara Rahman
JUDGE 3: “Wow. Your poem has me speechless. At such a young age you have amazing, wonderful talent! I love poems that embody the topic without having to say what they are writing about. I am thoroughly impressed with your work. Wow. MashaAllah.”