Short Fiction SUBMISSIONS
THE CONVICTION IN COURAGE: FINDING THE BALANCE BETWEEN FEAR AND RISK
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: “This is perhaps one of the most powerful examples of conviction and courage. Beautiful work capturing the emotions and different types of people who are affected by the conflict. Wonderful work Masha’Allah!”
JUDGE 2: “Mash'allah, beautifully articulated, brilliantly written. Your descriptions are heart-wrenching, and storytelling skills are brilliant, to the point where I as the reader definitely was in tears a few times. Beautiful integration of the Quranic verses as reminders, as well. Brilliantly written.”
JUDGE 3: “This was a well-written story and a good backdrop of the Palestine-Israeli conflict! I like how you implemented ayats and duas throughout the story. I also liked how you used each character to further your story. Overall, this was a great submission, keep writing!”
THE CONVICTION IN COURAGE: FINDING THE BALANCE BETWEEN FEAR AND RISK
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: “Loved the short story on Bilal! It shows how bullying affects others and the story was engaging.”
JUDGE 2: “Wonderful and heartwarming piece! A lot of us can empathize with the whole middle school phase that we either firsthand witness or otherwise see/read in movies and in books.
Bilal's journey to being a better person is admirable and something that I as the reader celebrated as well. You depicted the development of courage in a great way and made it something that Bilal loved and something that Abdurrahman aspired for as well. Word choice was appropriate for the middle school setting. And the theme ties up the story nicely at the end.”
JUDGE 3: “I really enjoyed Bilal's journey as he grappled with the different choices he could make and the consequences they would lead to. You have a gift for storytelling - the tension, emotions, and imagery all drove the story perfectly.”
The Valor of Mercy: Summoning The Strength of Compassion
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: Judge Comments: “Her identity, tell bring women together and show her story, inner spark, what inspires her journey, and other women I've met, conservative society, identity, to show who they are, an aunt who has had her identity stripped for her, bold colors.
JUDGE 2: “Beautiful designs, I love that each design is unique to a certain "vibe" I think for a collection, it's helpful to have a colorway or characteristic that is common throughout to develop the collection. I love your detailed philosophy and that your interpretation of mercy is to accept yourself
JUDGE 3: “I love how bold all your designs are and how empowering they are to look at and to wear. Great interpretation of mercy as something we need to show in accepting ourselves. Love the photos behind each design as part of your presentation, very street, fresh and bold like your designs.”
JUDGE 4: “taboo theme that is addressed in a beautiful, honest way.”
JUDGE 5: “Great use of imagery and interest building in the beginning parts of the story! I would suggest, if you were to edit this piece in the future, to extend it and spend more time detailing and building suspense in the escape at the end of the story. Application to the theme could have been stronger.”
JUDGE 6: “This story had many powerful moments, from Majeda's childhood memories, to her friend Doli asking "What do I have to live for?", to Majeda staring at her own reflection and seeing the doll. She doesn't recognize the woman she has become and mourns the girlhood she lost. The end where Majeda thinks that she is free--because Zikrah's freedom was her own freedom-- was also beautiful. I have one criticism: Zikrah is an 8 year old. At times she sounds and acts like an 8 year old, but at the end, she loses character with her statement about Allah opening doors for everyone. A person so young doesn't have the wisdom to make such a statement. Also, the way in which Majeda is kidnapped uses a cliche about a stranger enticing a young child by candy that might be inaccurate. That ignores the setting of Daulatdia and the many ways that children actually end up in Daulatdia. If you read the stories of women in Daulatdia, they are born into the situation or sold by family members. That's a more likely scenario. Also, in a place like Bangladesh where children do go to school alone, a stranger doesn't have to offer candy to kidnap a child. He can do it easily and violently, without any pretend kindness. Besides these two criticisms, I think your story was fantastic!”
Trusting The Process: Contentment Through Adversity
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: “Wow! MashaAllah this story was really incredible. I loved the way you incorporated bangla into your story but made it so seamless. The rosogolla scene was so relatable! I really enjoyed the Kabir's characterization and how he went through the arc of trusting in Allah through the conversation with his friend and also his wife standing up to him. One element in the story that was confusing was the time skip to the scene in the park where he returns the flashlight to Afra. The story reads as it happened in a day, at first it wasn't clear that two months have passed. You have a true talent for writing and I encourage you to keep putting your voice out there! I hope to read more of your work someday inshaaAllah.”
JUDGE 2: “Excellently written. It truly tugged at my heart strings. I love the allusions to color and light. I loved how it truly showcases and puts one in the place of a Bengali immigrant living in NYC. I love how the panic and denial of the protagonist is portrayed. I especially loved the scene with the pink flashlight- how the protagonist goes through a moment of fear/confusion as to what's tugging on his pant leg, but then the pink light from the flashlight comes to his aid and helps him realize he's fine. I absolutely love this. I could taste pain, which makes the piece so human and poignant and allows it to hit the heart directly. My only critique for you is this: I wish the protagonist's inner thought process of accepting his child with Down Syndrome was more explicitly stated and explained. It would have helped the story to truly come full circle. Instead, it is only implied. It would have been nice to see a scene of the man with his new child and how happy he is, etc., to really drive home the point of "trusting the process". Other than that, this is exceptionally written. This story is in a league of it's own.”
JUDGE 3: “Well written moving story clear message . I Loved your voice and tone IN YOUR story I REALLY FEEL THE MAIN CHARACTER STRUGGLE. YOU conveyed the theme well and characters are relatable you are a great writer always have faith in Allah. AS Muslims, we must trust Allah (SWT). We are only human. We do not know anything and everything. i loved the collor symbolism the different gradients of the color pink is used to both signify the unborn child and the intensity of the emotions experienced by the narrator throughout the story. The color pink first makes its appearance in the story, when it clashes with the green room to indicate that the slow dispersion of pink into the narrator’s green life is what begins to muddle everything. The choice of color was important because pink and green are complementary colors, which mix to make a brown that correlates to the feelings of bewilderment he endured at the moment. The concept of light is introduced later in the passage by Rokeya, the narrator’s wife, through the proclamation of a dream. In her dream, the light is of the same pink color, further explaining that the pink light represents the child. The flashlight that is given to the narrator in his state of confusion and detachment from reality alludes to a higher power that would be watching to make sure that everything that would occur would occur for the betterment of his future. The flashlight is purposely used as the toy that the girl gives to the character to draw a connection between Rokeya’s dream and Allah (SWT)’s protection of his fate. On that note, the audience comes to know that the girl’s name is Afra, which also has importance to the overall story. Afra is a name of Arabic origin meaning “whitish red”, showing that she was chosen to be the vessel of the message because she also has Down syndrome and her name literally translates to the word ‘pink’. Lastly, the narrator’s broken english, seen in his conversation with the obstetrician is a stylistic choice to show that the narrator is not fluent in English because the conversation is between him and an English speaker. However, the rest of his inner thoughts and dialogue follow the rules of English grammar and conventions because it is supposed to show the distinction between his comfort speaking English and Bengali. This distinction was necessary to accentuate the fact his speech reflects his conflict with the Western culture of being indifferent to what others think. that we cannot even fathom because it is part of the unforeseeable future. Likewise, Kabir refuses to accept this part of life because he does not believe that it will bring any good, but he slowly begins to understand that although he may be in charge of his freewill, there is a power out of his reach who controls his fate.”
The Honor of Humility: Finding Dignity in Challenging Pride
JUDGES FEEDBACK:
JUDGE 1: “I think your story was great, mashAllah, and I'm impressed by your word choice and the flow, but I didn't give you full points in organization and development for several reasons. The first 2 paragraphs seem disconnected from the rest of the story. The readers cannot place where this running falls in the timeline of the story. You also mentioned something about the parents' relationship with each other, and that felt a little unclear to me. If it is something really important for the integrity of the story, then that relationship could have been more fleshed out. If not, then it seemed unnecessary, especially since the story was more about the relationship between the two sisters. Although you explained it in your written statement, it wasn't too clear to me that Amal was the light in the family or how she had been a support for the younger sister. “
JUDGE 2: “Great start to the story - building up anticipation is a great way to get the reader to be interested in continuing reading! Overall, you did a great job at showing emotions throughout this piece. “
JUDGE 3: “Beautifully written story masha'Allah. The genuine emotion behind it was tangible, and the irrationality in the face tragedy was a very real concept that I think people go through every day. They know when they are doing something wrong or taking out their frustration in the wrong way, but they justify it because of their experiences or trauma. I like that the main character was able to acknowledge that within herself, find strength through her loss, and find beauty and strength in her life again by forgiving her sister and inviting her back into her life. The only criticism I have is that (at times) you rely on trite phrases to convey emotion, like "my world came crashing down"-- It's a common phrase that's used, but I think you can find more value added to your writing by eliminating phrases like that and finding a better and more encompassing way to express the emotion you are trying to convey. Wonderfully done, masha'Allah!! “